Writer's Workshop #2 "People Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel"

Me and my older sister 1972

Assignment

Read the quote and let it inspire your post: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". -Maya Angelou

Feelings are part of most memories, whether it be good or bad. I think as a child you have this sixth sense about people, we learn to over ride it as we become adults, but as a kid you know how people make you feel. You know which school teachers really liked kids and were dedicated to your learning and which ones were just going through the motions. You are in tune to how people make you feel and you are drawn to the ones who make you feel good about life and yourself. I have been fortunate enough to have known a few of those people. You feel instantly accepted by them, they light up a room with their happiness and you want a part of it.

How do they get that?

How can I get that?

I don't have the answers to these questions but I have a suspicion that it comes with experience, that it begins by loving yourself, and that it isn't some place I will arrive but an ongoing process.

I remember how I felt:

• When my first grade teacher let me stay after school and help her correct papers, then drove me home. I felt special.

• When my best friend and I started a business selling our clay creations door to door. I felt smart and like I could take on the free enterprise system and be successful, I was 10.

• The day I got married, I felt Lucky.

• When I looked into the eyes of my newborn child. I felt awe.

• The day my daughter graduated from college. I felt overwhelmingly proud.

• When my best friend told me she started to cry after hearing a news story about a woman who lost her best friend to cancer. She said she thought about losing me and cried. I felt gratitude for having such a good person in my life.

This makes me wonder, how do I make other people feel? Not just because of my words, but my actions? My husband, children, my best friend?

Excuse me, I think I have some work to do.

P.S. I don't know why my writing keeps taking the form of lists, but I am going with it.

Embarrassing Moment(s)

Grain Elevator or Ice Cream Factory?, I'll let you Decide

I have accepted the challenge from this post on my daughter's blog to write about an embarrassing moment. Easy project for me as I have quite a few, this is only a partial list :)

• The time my husband and I were having trouble finding an address. I insisted we were lost, he refused to admit it. I declared after looking out the window and seeing a grain elevator, "We are really lost, look, we are clear out by the ice cream factory!" My entire life (I was in my 20's) I thought it was an ice cream factory, you know, each cylinder is a different flavor of ice cream. My husband started laughing so hard he had to pull over because he couldn't drive.

• Then there was the time I was 8 months pregnant and making a deposit through the drive up window at our bank. Once again my husband was driving, and the people inside were taking forever (time really does go slower when you are 8 months pregnant). I kept making remarks about how long it was taking and he kept saying things like, "shh they can hear you". I didn't believe him. I finally blurted out "They are taking so long I am going to have this baby right here waiting for them". I looked up and every person in the bank, even the customers in line were laughing. He was right, they could hear me.

• Another time we were going shopping in the evening, it was dark and I pulled out my carmex because my lips were really dry. I took a big glob of the stuff and rubbed it all over my lips and beyond trying to get some moisture back into them. We got to the shopping center, parked, and split up as we both had different stores we wanted to go to. I began to notice people giving me strange stares, one girl even laughed as I passed her. I remember thinking something was up and so I checked to see if my shirt was buttoned up (nursing mothers will understand this thought). It turns out my "carmex" was actually a pot of lip gloss called "coffee bean". Yes, it was dark brown and I had smeared it all over my face! I finally met up with my husband after going to two different stores, all at once he looked up at me and said, "what they heck is all over your face?" The sales people looked relieved, they were no longer worried that I was a mental hospital escapee.
  

• Last but not least is the famous lebs story. I was in 5th grade driving somewhere with my family. We were playing the alphabet game where you find all the letters in the alphabet on road signs and license plates. I announced that I had found a "B" in the word "lebs" on a billboard. "Lebs?" My mother questioned. "Yes, lebs. You know like the bag of flour weighs 5 lbs?" I replied. It took years for them to stop teasing me about that. I hope they don't read this and start again.

Another day when we have more time I will share with you the time I tied myself to the roof, how I almost drove away and left my newborn in a pizza shop and how embarrassing it was when my 3 year old yelled out in the middle of the sacrament at church , "my butt sure is sweaty!". All cherished moments.

Writer's Workshop "Something unique you love about your significant other"

One of the things I have come to dearly love and admire in my husband is his intense drive to always keep learning and his ability to share that with others. I guess you can tell we are not newlyweds, who says, "wow look at his drive to learn!"? No, we are celebrating our 25th anniversary this year; 4 kids, 6 moves, 3 houses, a college degree, too many job changes to count, emergency room visits, illness, vacations, the marriage of our first child, after 25 years of life you really learn to appreciate the surprises in your relationship.

It is really fun to live with someone who is self educated in many areas and always has something new and interesting to share. I have learned more from my husband than any other person on this planet, just some of the interesting things he has taught me are;

• how to navigate computer files
• how a 3 way light switch is wired
• to appreciate live music
  
• how to read a map (the blue lines are not necessarily rivers)
• to notice the sunset
• how to live out of a backpack for 3 days
• to enjoy 4 wheeling, even when the car tilts
• how to fix a leaking toilet (OK, this one I learned by default because I got tired of waiting for him to fix it)
• how to grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and peppers
• how to build a raised bed using rocks from our yard
• to enjoy snow
• to find peace in nature
• to look up words in the dictionary when I find one I don't know
• that camping can be fun and dirty at the same time
  
• the joy of traveling and learning about a new place and culture
• that children are worth giving up everything for
• that spiritual worship isn't about having fun
• to set your goals high and expect greatness from yourself
• to mean what I say, especially when threatening our kids
• How to load and shoot a gun (not necessarily related to the last statement)
  

Happy 25th to my honey, I love you and thanks for all you have taught me!

Thank You, Dr. Seuss

My all time favorite line from a book is "Life is a great balancing act". It comes from Oh The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss. Among all the rhyming and seemingly drug induced illustrations and characters I found this golden nugget of wisdom that has reminded me throughout a 25 year marriage and 4 children that you can't have it all, at least not all at once.